Well that hurt.

So turns out the guy I was sorta really into, and who acted like he was into me, (p.s. the one who kissed me) is in a relationship with someone else. Ouch.
Oh well, too bad he turned out to be a jerk. but really its his loss.
Cause come on!
I AM FANTASTIC.


I really am. Its a small sucky moment in my life but its not the last moment ever.
If I'm patient someone better will come along and love me for who I am. And he will be 1000x better than The Jerk Face
I won't be made to feel insecure cause he was a jerk.
A stupid secret jerk.
Be careful girls don't get sucked in or get blinded to the jerky signs of semi-attractive males.

A kiss is a powerful thing.

I recently received my first true blue kiss.
Can I say I had no idea of the power contained in such a simple gesture?

I mean, its just two people smashing there face's together right? 

Wrong. So wrong.

 I have to say it was like a little piece of my soul woke up when he kissed me.

....Oh my that sounds way cheesy...

Now I'm not telling anyone they should run out and find someone to lock lips with. And I'm not saying the boy who kissed me so well is "the one".

  (its way to soon to tell)

I waited 20 long years for my first kiss. The wait was worth it. 

I can't wait to find the one I get to kiss whenever I want for the rest of eternity!

Kisses are precious and not to be wasted. 

But don't put it off too long.

Because its fantastic!

=p

.:maintaining:.

Phew, maintaining a happy attitude can be a challenge!
Especially when the world is hiding around the corner, waiting for a chance to shatter your new found hope...

Thank goodness for excellent music to help you get all pumped up!!!

Take that world!

I CAN BE!

I CAN be enough!

I can be happy.

I can love me for me!

I am pretty.

I have many talents.

I am smart enough! 

I WILL find a man someday. 

(hopefully soon) 

And he will just have to love me for who I am.

Because thats all I can be.

I may not be perfect but I'll never tell him that I'm not.

=p

never enough

I feel so inadequate, most of the time.
I don't feel smart enough.
Pretty enough.
Controlled enough.
Skinny enough.
Tall enough.
Short enough.
Blonde enough.
Brunette enough.
Strong enough.
Feminine enough.
Happy enough.
Clever enough.
Courageous enough
Attractive enough.
Brave enough,
I fell like nothing I do is good enough to find someone who will love me forever.
I'm in a really weird place right now.
Not good weird, bad weird.
I feel so stuck in my life with no for-see-able way out.
It makes me want to cry.

Ug stupid, girly, crappy, human emotions.

Running

Sometimes I wish I could run.
Its not so much a desire to run away as it is a desire to run TO something.
I guess though I do want to runaway, I want to runaway from my old life and into a new one.
I want to run into the arms of people I care about, not because I have to care about them but because I WANT to care about them.
I want to run past all the Sad, bad, frustrating, annoying, heartbreaking things in my life and get to those good, wonderful, happy, times when I know exactly who I am and where I stand in the grand scheme of things.
I wish I could run into the waiting arms of my future eternal companion, where I can find safety from the storms of life.
I wish I could run into my own house, living with my parents (as much as i love them) is becoming by far one of the most frustrating and all encompassingly, annoying things in my life.
I want to run to the future, away from my present and far from my past.