About a boy

This is a post about one of my best friends.
Right now he is on his mission in San Francisco. How great is that!?
San Francisco is probably my favorite city.
(except the people are dumb, that place is like a breeding ground for hipsters)
I'm a little jealous he is there...but he's on a mission so thats great!
Someday we will go back there together so he can show me all the places he went...
We will also go to Disneyland.
And Oregon.
It will be amazing.

A guest post...sort of.

One of my best friends wrote this, she is such an amazing person and I love her.

From Hannah:

At one point, and I don't know exactly when, I realized she was missing. I looked down the alley where they kissed in his car, but it was empty. I searched through his life, his eyes, and even his family. Nothing. Once I realized he was empty I moved on. Person after person I searched. I dug, I questioned, I gave every second away. I felt that if I searched deep enough inside of someone else I would find her. I was digging past their surfaces, so shouldn't I uncover something deep? Maybe a clue to where she might be hiding? I took every bit of advice offered to me. "give service" "spend time with loved ones" "go on a long, adventurous trip." But she wasn't in Europe, she wasn't in his arms, and she wasn't even in their grateful faces. As time went on, I began giving up. I started looking in places I knew I were dead ends. Worst of all, the more I searched the farther away she seemed to be. Finally, I stopped searching. 

That is when she gave me a clue.

"There is no deep secret to finding me" she said. "I've been standing here all the time. You can't see me all at once, but bit by bit you've uncovered me." Then I began to see how I'd found her. Her laugh came out in his home while he teased. Her heart was in the grateful face of a girl who needed a friend. Her curiosity seeped out through the ancient, cracking walls of the Austrian monastery. "You can't find all of me no matter how hard you try" she warned. And now I never want to. 

Rain, rain come and stay ...

Go away never.

I LOVE being a girl!

Today I went to play with my friend Hannahlove. We were is a store looking at pretties and she says
"I love being a girl"
How great is that! I love being a girl too!
So today you should embrace your girly-ness, Its so great to be a girl!!!

Hear are some pictures of me and my Hannahlove embracing being a girl:

The Gorgeous Hannahlove

Me and her

Twirling is an important part of girly-ness

On How To Be Lovely

First watch this video

Now,

I've been thinking a lot lately about beauty and self esteem. 

About what make a person feel beautiful.

About how we can help others see there own beauty.

I haven't come to any definite conclusions in my ponderings. 

But i like what the song says

"make sorrow incidental, let joy be monumental, and you'll be lovely"

Just think about it.

I'm that girl

Shes the girl
that believes that what comes around goes around.
The one that hopes for a better day.
The one that won’t give up on you.
She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest.
The one that spent her days smiling,
and her nights crying.
She’s the girl that would love to be loved.
The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak.
She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls
♥

Well that hurt.

So turns out the guy I was sorta really into, and who acted like he was into me, (p.s. the one who kissed me) is in a relationship with someone else. Ouch.
Oh well, too bad he turned out to be a jerk. but really its his loss.
Cause come on!
I AM FANTASTIC.


I really am. Its a small sucky moment in my life but its not the last moment ever.
If I'm patient someone better will come along and love me for who I am. And he will be 1000x better than The Jerk Face
I won't be made to feel insecure cause he was a jerk.
A stupid secret jerk.
Be careful girls don't get sucked in or get blinded to the jerky signs of semi-attractive males.

A kiss is a powerful thing.

I recently received my first true blue kiss.
Can I say I had no idea of the power contained in such a simple gesture?

I mean, its just two people smashing there face's together right? 

Wrong. So wrong.

 I have to say it was like a little piece of my soul woke up when he kissed me.

....Oh my that sounds way cheesy...

Now I'm not telling anyone they should run out and find someone to lock lips with. And I'm not saying the boy who kissed me so well is "the one".

  (its way to soon to tell)

I waited 20 long years for my first kiss. The wait was worth it. 

I can't wait to find the one I get to kiss whenever I want for the rest of eternity!

Kisses are precious and not to be wasted. 

But don't put it off too long.

Because its fantastic!

=p

.:maintaining:.

Phew, maintaining a happy attitude can be a challenge!
Especially when the world is hiding around the corner, waiting for a chance to shatter your new found hope...

Thank goodness for excellent music to help you get all pumped up!!!

Take that world!

I CAN BE!

I CAN be enough!

I can be happy.

I can love me for me!

I am pretty.

I have many talents.

I am smart enough! 

I WILL find a man someday. 

(hopefully soon) 

And he will just have to love me for who I am.

Because thats all I can be.

I may not be perfect but I'll never tell him that I'm not.

=p

never enough

I feel so inadequate, most of the time.
I don't feel smart enough.
Pretty enough.
Controlled enough.
Skinny enough.
Tall enough.
Short enough.
Blonde enough.
Brunette enough.
Strong enough.
Feminine enough.
Happy enough.
Clever enough.
Courageous enough
Attractive enough.
Brave enough,
I fell like nothing I do is good enough to find someone who will love me forever.
I'm in a really weird place right now.
Not good weird, bad weird.
I feel so stuck in my life with no for-see-able way out.
It makes me want to cry.

Ug stupid, girly, crappy, human emotions.

Running

Sometimes I wish I could run.
Its not so much a desire to run away as it is a desire to run TO something.
I guess though I do want to runaway, I want to runaway from my old life and into a new one.
I want to run into the arms of people I care about, not because I have to care about them but because I WANT to care about them.
I want to run past all the Sad, bad, frustrating, annoying, heartbreaking things in my life and get to those good, wonderful, happy, times when I know exactly who I am and where I stand in the grand scheme of things.
I wish I could run into the waiting arms of my future eternal companion, where I can find safety from the storms of life.
I wish I could run into my own house, living with my parents (as much as i love them) is becoming by far one of the most frustrating and all encompassingly, annoying things in my life.
I want to run to the future, away from my present and far from my past.

Alone-ness

I hate being alone.
Most of my life I have spent by myself.
Being by your self kinda goes along with being an only child.
When I was little, it wasn't too bad, I didn't have a problem playing by myself. I would have amazing adventures in my mind and with my Barbie's or Baby dolls. I didn't know I was alone then. Like most children I was oblivious and I saw little difference between playing with others or playing by myself. In fact when I was by myself I could do what I wanted so I really didn't care.
Now that I'm older I crave companionship. I crave significant friendships and even sometimes a significant other.
Although I want these things and sometimes I feel lost without them I still discover in quiet moments, That i am okay with me. I can be alone and not be lonely. Its hard but it happens.